hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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