listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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