i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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