i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
