I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
