haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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