mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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