there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
