oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
