More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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