if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
