Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
