He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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