I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
