Already got asked if we're dating
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
