my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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