I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
