is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
