wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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