Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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