i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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