It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
