smell my finger.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
