i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize