my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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