who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
