I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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