1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm experimenting with sincerity
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
