Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
