I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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