somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
