problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
