All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
