i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
