escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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