there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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