hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
