He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
