you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
