honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
