Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
