hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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