When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
