you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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