Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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