when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
