ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
