You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
