Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
