Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
