Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
