I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize