my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
