Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
