It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
