My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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