wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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