am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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