ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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