I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
smell my finger.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
