I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize