I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
