since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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