Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
