I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
