wakey wakey hands off snakey
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
