I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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