we have pet lesbian snakes
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
