Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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