Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
